


butterscotch

by flusteredbard



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Telekinesis, and evryone, and polaris, casper being casper, casper making dad jokes, dorky science man, dylan gets mad at casper, dylan has a shrink, dylan is a teenager, dylan is an angry teen, dylan talks about his dark materials, hes also clumsy, i want to call this fluff but its not, i was about to put langston in there just for fun, im not a great writer so bear with me, just go with it its for a metaphor, no major spoilers for anything, polaris is talked about but only pops up once, there's not enough young dylan content on here so i made my own, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29195328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flusteredbard/pseuds/flusteredbard
Summary: dylan faden was frustrated. frustrated with himself, frustrated with casper, frustrated with the bureau. nothing seemed to be going his way. after a dead end therapy session dylan goes to darling, upset and iritated, hoping for an escape. But their conversation only makes things worse, how can he keep living like this?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	butterscotch

Dylan faden was frustrated. Frustrated with himself, frustrated with casper, frustrated with the bureau. Nothing seemed to be going his way. He sat with his arms folded across his chest, determined not to give the therapist in front of him the satisfaction of a smooth session. He glared at the women. Everything about her made him angry. The way she pulled her hair into a tight bun. the way she held a clipboard and pen at the ready, as if she actually used any of the notes she took. He knew the whole interaction was being recorded. He glanced back at the large black security camera conveniently placed behind him. It felt like he was being mocked. The red light rhythmically blinked on and off, making sure he knew it was on.  
“Dylan?” the woman's sharp voice cut through his thoughts. He turned back to face her, still hyper aware of the camera behind him.  
“I asked how that makes you feel.” she waited in that expectant way they always do. Like a dog waiting for a treat or a pat on the head. Her neck craned ever so slightly forward. Eager for that little nugget of emotion he was bound to drop if she was patient enough.  
“I don't know, angry,” he said in a lazy tone. He refused to let himself become invested. He didn't want to let her in.  
“Can you elaborate?”  
“No.” he shifted his position, uncrossing his legs and leaning back in his chair. He kept his arms folded over his chest. Blocking out the large black letters reading P6. he used to like the grey sweater and pants. He used to wear them with pride. A reminder that he was different, that he was special. That feeling got old quick. He didn't want to be special anymore. He just wanted to be a normal kid. He didn't hate the bureau, but he wasn't its biggest fan. He did believe deep down that they were doing the right thing. He knew he should be grateful. After all, where else would he go? He just turned fourteen years old, and with no family or friends he was completely alone. There was Jessie, and polaris of cose. But jessie had left him here to rot and he was starting to get real sick of polarises constant presence. Ironically, he felt like he was never by himself. Not in a good way. It was uncomfortable, having to share your head with someone- no, something else.  
“Alright, that's our hour dylan.” his shrink said, glancing at her watch and grimacing. “I hope that you will participate a bit more next week.” she put on a fake smile and gathered her things. “I'm supposed to escort you back to your room but I'm cutting it close with a meeting. I trust you can find your way back?”  
“Yes.” Dylan said, mimicking her sickeningly pleasant expression.  
“Great. Please make sure to head straight back ok? Neither one of us wants to get in trouble”  
“I know my way around, kate.” he liked to call her by her first name. He could tell it got under her skin. She pulled her smile even wider and tilted her head like she was talking to a child. Which she technically was, although Dylan would argue otherwise.  
“Dr. beers dylan.” with that, she passed him and walked briskly out of the room. Dylan was left to sit in that uncomfortable metal chair he was placed in every week. Therapy had been caspers recommendation. He wasn't completely opposed to the idea, but kate beers got on his nerves. And he got on hers. He had turned it into a game for himself. How long can dr. beers go before she asks to be replaced? She had made it two months now, but he could tell he was getting closer. There's no way she had been late to a meeting. He had caught a glimpse at her watch and she had ended the session fifteen minutes early. He wasn't complaining. It gave him the freedom to avoid his room for just a bit longer. He stood up, not bothering to push in the chair or close the door as he left the room. If he was to go where he was supposed to, he would take a left down the hall, but instead he turned right. He strolled down the hallway, keeping his head down. There weren't very many people out and about. The sector he was in was practically a ghost town, with only a small crew of researchers specifically dedicated to it. He supposed that's why they took him there. The less he was seen by general bureau staff the better. He knew where he was going and took another right turn. This wasn't the first time dr. beers conveniently had a meeting to go to, and it wasn't the first time he had taken a detour on the way back to his room. After a few more turns and two flights of stairs he had arrived. Without knocking he walked into dr. casper darlings office unannounced. The thin, brown haired scientist jumped at his sudden appearance, and before he could do anything Dylan spoke.  
“What would it take to get Kate beers fired?” darling's face melted from surprise to a melancholy smile.  
“You're not supposed to be here Dylan,” he said, sitting back down, obscuring his vision with the mounds of paperwork that sat atop his desk.  
“That's not an answer.” Dylan walked across the room grabbing a butterscotch candy from a large bowl on darling's desk. He unwrapped the treat and popped it in his mouth, sitting down in a corner of the large room.  
“We’ve been through this, if you don't like dr. beers i can find you someone else. I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment” he said motioning to the large stacks of paper on his desk. They seemed to tower over each other, each one bigger than the last. He looked defeated as he sat slumped in his chair. Dylan could see the dark circles under his eyes.  
“When was the last time you slept?” Dylan asked. The genuine compassion and concern in the boy's voice surprised casper. It alleviated any irritation he had felt at Dylan's sudden appearance.  
“That's none of your concern” he replied with a smile. “Sleep comes second when two AWE’s happen in the same week.” darling slumped even lower in his chair burying his face in his hands. He knew how bad he looked. In truth, he hadn't been home in two days. Only catching brief amounts of sleep when he dozed off at his desk. This week had been hard and it showed. He reached over to grab a candy for himself but knocked a half empty mug off the desk, spilling day-old coffee on to the carpeted floor.  
“Shit” he cursed under his breath as he stooped to pick up the cup. He didn't bother to put a towel down, better to let it stain. The brown spot looked right at home with the various other patches of discolored carpet. This wasn't the first time he had spilled his coffee. He looked up to see Dylan watching him, amused. He gave a half hearted chuckle.  
“What? I'm giving the carpet character!” he stared down at the floor with an exaggerated frown “lord knows it needs it.” he pushed his foot into the fibers making a face of comic surprise and disappointment. “Do you feel that? i think it's starting to go soft!'' Dylan couldn't help but stifle a laugh. He knew he was too old for darlings little routines but they still made him smile. They reminded him of happier times at the bureau. His first year here had been full of new and terrifying things, But darling had always been there. Putting on a smile and trying to make him laugh. He was the constant that Dylan needed. That he still needed.  
“I'm just messing around,” he said, waving a hand and placing the mug back on his desk. “Now, Will you tell me what happened with dr. beers?” Dylan knew it was coming. He couldn't keep going to darlings office and pretending nothing was wrong  
“Why?” he asked, hoping casper would drop the subject. Darling pulled up a chair to face him, and sat down. He put on a sad smile.  
“You know I'm very good friends with kate. I wouldn't have recommended her if I didn't think she was a good fit for you. She doesn't even work with the bureau. I had to fill out all kinds of paperwork to get her in here. Why don't you like her?” Dylan was surprised to learn she didnt work here. That might put a kink in his how long till she quits game. He avoided eye contact, instead staring down at the candy wrapper in his hands.  
“She's fine, I just..” he trailed off. He didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not here. He trusted casper but he was so sick of everyone prying at his emotions. Darling could tell he didn't want to talk, so he decided to get the conversation started on a lighter topic.  
“Say what have you been reading lately?” Dylan was surprised he was letting him off the hook so easy, but was happy for a way out.  
“The golden compass” he responded, still refusing to look up.  
“Ahh! His dark materials, One of my favorites when I was your age.” darling leaned back in his chair, the bright smile he had returning at the mention of the book series.  
“Although it's hard these days to read for too long,” Dylan added.  
“Because of the headaches?”  
“Yes.” Dylan finally glanced up to see Casper still smiling. He was so trusting, so eager to hear what Dylan had to say. Screw it. He could trust darling. Why was he so anxious to lock himself up?  
“I've been thinking. it's funny, y’know?” he shifted his position, willing himself to say what was on his mind “All of the people in those books, in that world. They have these animal companions. And they're all very friendly when they're kids but when they get older the animals start to get mean, and they grow apart. Some people hate their animals. And I know they're supposed to be like your soul or something, but they're called demons. I just think that's ironic. More and more I'm starting to think that Polaris is my demon. We used to be friends but-” he fidgeted with the candy wrapper he still held and looked up. “I want her out. I don't want a demon in my head. Maybe she's good and I'm being crazy or paranoid. But talking to her makes me nauseous, and she gives me headaches and I can never think straight when she's around.” Dylan was upset now and he stood up to start pacing the room. “see, see, in the book, there's this woman, And she's doing these experiments to try and cut peoples demons away from them. That's what i want. I want to be alone with my thoughts. I want you to take her out of me. The only problem with the experiments is they're turning those people into mindless drones. Emotionless, and dead inside, with no personality.” he stopped to look at darling, who was listening intently. “And i'm so scared. I'm scared that she has become so intertwined with me that if you took her out there would be nothing left. I don't want her to take over. Sometimes i just get so upset or angry and i can't control myself and she is always there. She is always, somehow, a part of it. I- I” dylan's voice was starting to crack. He had been holding this in for so long and it felt wonderful and sickening at the same time to let it out. He wanted to cry. It sounded ridiculous. He was fourteen, he shouldn't be crying in front of other people. “Am i crazy?” he collapsed back into the chair. looking to darling for reassurance, for an affirmation that he wasn't losing his mind.  
“No, no no, you're not crazy, not at all. The fact that you're thinking about this is good, vey good” darling quickly rushed over to his desk, pushing aside papers looking for something to write on. “Polaris is an anomaly to say the least. What has she been saying to you?” he noticed the corner of a yellow note pad and grabbed it. He patted his lab coat for a pen and found one in his back pocket. He quickly sat back down, eager to hear more about Dylan's experience. Too eager. Dylan couldn't help but notice that same expectant look he had seen on dr. beers face. Darling didnt care about him, or his feelings. He was just like the rest of them.  
“God, I shouldn't have expected anything less.” he said, standing up. “I'm just another experiment to you!” darling's expression quickly shifted from keen to taken aback.  
“Dylan no, that's not-”  
“This is why i can't stand kate! This is why i hate it here!” darling was surprised at how fast his mood had gone from vulnerable to angry. He had seen this side of Dylan before and he knew it never ended well. He was a teenager, these mood swings were common, but that didn't make them any less jaring.  
“im sorry, i didn't mean-”  
“Stop! Just stop it!” he shouted. He looked around, his anger wavering. He suddenly felt very small, like a little kid who had gotten lost in a department store. “I don't want to be here anymore,” he said, his voice cracking a bit. He stormed out of the room, bubbling with anger and frustration. He seemed to be well acquainted with those emotions these days, they never left him for long. Just as he stepped out of the door frame he turned back “and clean yourself up, you look just as messy as your office.” with that he marched out and down the hall. He didn't bother to acknowledge the researchers and scientists that passed him on his way. He didn't even say hello to the rangers that sat a ways away from his room, trying a little too hard not to look like they were standing watch. He hoped he had hurt casper with that comment. He wanted to hurt him. That smile of his that had seemed so reassuring just moments ago now felt fake and contrived. This whole place was fake. He was sick of staring at concrete walls and white tiled floors. He stepped into his room and slammed the door behind him. He knew that this rage he felt would pass. He knew that he would calm down, and when he woke up tomorrow all would be forgiven. But for now he wanted to simmer in his fury and indignation. He let the waves of anger wash over him as he stood in the center of the room. His hands ever so slightly shook. Slowly, she crept into the corner of his eye. All at once he released his fury and the small table that sat next to his bed was thrust across the room, cracking the part of the wall it had made an impact with. He hated that he could do that. He didn't bother to pick it up as he walked to his bed and layed down. He didn't know how long he lay there, all he knew was that he eventually drifted off to sleep. His vision blurred by spinning fractals and stars.

**Author's Note:**

> hiya! thank you so much for reading, it really means a lot. this is my first ever fic so id love to hear your feedback. i apologize for any gramatical errors, i have trouble with that. But don't be a stranger! come say hello in the comments. tell me what you thought, maybe give me some ideas for next time :)


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